What?

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  The Oracle and I went to our favorite place - the beach.  We renewed our spirits to the never-changing sound of the surf.  The constancy of the beach - the sun, the sounds, the smells - is what gives us such a sense of peace and well-being while we are there.  Celebrating our wedding anniversary each way, year after year, is also a constancy that gives continuity to our memories and experiences.

I like to be unpredictable however I also need the balance of ... routine.

Although yesterday my sense of peace was a little - tattered.  As I rested underneath the shade of a large beach umbrella, trying to snooze a bit, my mind was whirling and twirling on one subject...

...my impending hip replacement.

It has truly hit me - 2 months from today I am having the most major orthopedic surgery there is ... again.

Part Deux.

It's silly really.  It's not like I didn't know it was coming; I've known for about 3 years that eventually it would need to be done.  I've known since March that I needed to get it done in the coming 12 months.

Scheduling the surgery was totally my decision to make and I made it with the full knowledge of what it meant.  I made it because my body is telling me on a daily basis that ... it's time.

And all my mind could say yesterday was ...

... WHAT THE FUCK!

Like an avalanche it hit - rolling me over and over as I contemplated just exactly what I've signed on for.

I have no choice, I know that.  Still doesn't make it feel any better.

I am having my second total hip replacement in 2 months.

W.T.F.