For the love of all that's holy...my saga earlier this week has gotten worse and it's so complicated now that I don't know how to just make it go away.
I sought out the counsel I mentioned and the individual agreed with what I wanted to do:
E-mail, not call, the offending party and indicate that clearly my suggestion for improvements won't work (at least as far as he is concerned, which I did not say) and that I would just move on with the plans I have for the Lectoring Ministry.
Simple. Easy. Quick. Should have put an end to it - right?
Oh no. Not so my friends.
For the offending party, I find, is one of the most obtuse people I've ever encountered.
Now - he demands that I call him and stop e-mailing him.
After treating me like crap, calling my competency into question and in general being difficult - he's making demands of my time.
And now, after all the aforementioned difficulties - he says he agrees with me on my suggestion yet doesn't like that I "blasted" him for the errors made.
Poor, delicate darling.
I did what most thinking people would do - pointed out an error, asked that it be corrected. His failure to do that resulted in major anxiety and disruption at the start of Mass.
I did what most thinking people would do - made a suggestion to close a gap in the process and was met with derision, accusations and generally rude, misogynistic behavior.
And now - I'm supposed to call him, like he's a king sitting on a throne and I am but a humble subject who must do his bidding and take my misery from him as I am a lowly woman and I deserve it.
See - poked. the. wrong. bear.
I have learned, from the counsel I sought, that this particular individual has a problem with women; he believes they are to be controlled.
Um, yeah, about that - poked. the. wrong. bear.
So now my decision - when I thought I was all done with this crap - is to acquiese to his majesty and call him, talk this thru on the phone. Or just ignore it all. Or stick to e-mail which he clearly doesn't like.
I just don't want to call him. Thru e-mail I can remain calm and say what needs to be said, clearly, concisely and with as little emotion as possible.
Over the phone - he'll learn about the bear he poked. I can go especially medieval on the ass of people like this tool and I just don't want to be dragged down into that.
I'm working hard - every single day - to keep that part of myself in-check as it's both unchristian and not good for my overall health.
But then I think - perhaps I should direct some of my own stress onto him so it's not good for HIS overall health. Because of the way he has responded to all this - creating such a tempest - there is a part of me that feels he would deserve to see what happens when he pushes me just too far. Which he has already done and thensome.
Ignoring it is of course an option and one that I'm entertaining seriously. Yet I fear that he will just keep poking me until he gets what he wants.
I can't rewrite the history of this mess and at this point I'd much rather just let it die a lonely death. What's done is done, no one can un-say what has been said. I've made my apologies to the people who needed to hear them and Mr. Delicate King isn't one of them.
It would have been so simple at the start of this: take responsibility for the mistakes that were made, correct them or at least let me know that I needed to mop up the mess - and move on.
But no - there had to be grandstanding, finger-pointing and an outright abdication of responsibilities. Leaving me in this quagmire of angst, trying to walk away, saying that my need to be right isn't trumping the need to just let it all go.
It's going to be a long weekend.